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Of the 131 quarterly infections in April to June, 65 were MSM infections and at least some of the 37 infections of so-far undetermined source were expected to fall into the same category, he said. The figure is both the highest quarterly number and ratio of MSM infections on record.

By contrast, Wong said, the trend for heterosexual infections had remained stable in recent years. “The MSM epidemic is a big challenge in HIV prevention and control,” he said, with rates many times higher than other at-risk groups.

Most infections in the MSM community result from unprotected sex. “I am not sure why but maybe some members in the (MSM) community are just ambivalent. They don’t have enough awareness or concern about the risk of infection, or they just ignore the issue,” said Wong.

In contrast to Grindr’s rapid popularity, the Department of Health’s mobile app targeting MSM has picked up few followers so far, Wong admitted.

The most effective way to tackle the epidemic, however, he said, was through safe sex education and regular HIV testing – something currently done by around 40 percent of Hong Kong’s MSM population.

“If safe sex can be taught at an early age, it is useful for future protection,” Wong said. “Interestingly, from the surveys we have done, we found that condom use when an MSM first has sex is correlated with consistent condom use in future.

“We don’t know why but this finding is quite consistent. So it would be useful if they could be taught to use condom when they have sex when they are still quite young.”

Paul Ramscar, a Hong Kong businessman and gay rights advocate who is launching a Pink Dollar smart phone app to promote gay-friendly bars, shops, nightclubs and restaurants, said it would be wrong to single out Grindr for blame in the rise in HIV cases.

“It’s a tragedy when this happens to someone but ultimately the buck stops with the individual. They need to be looking after their own health,” he said. “If they want to take the risks, if they want to play what is effectively Russian Roulette by not using a condom, then maybe there are going to be consequences.”

However, that same November evening I received a call from another man whose profile I had picked out one night as I sat in bed with tonsillitis, feeling feverish, seriously unattractive and impatient. I could not be bothered chatting free dating by email and simply sent my phone number saying, “If you are interested, call me.”

By then I had learned what to look for when checking a prospect’s profile on free dating– not the photo. It tells you very little. I had also changed mine from one where I thought I looked my best – makeup, earrings and a black cocktail dress – to one taken by my cousin, in which I looked relaxed, friendly: my approachable self.

His profile on free dating said he liked films. I love films and we had both listed On Golden Pond as one of our favourites. He was an engineer – a scientist to my arts background. I was attracted to someone who could actually do stuff. He was a Kiwi but had lived in London for over 20 years. I had worked with loads of New Zealanders and loved their reluctance to take anyone or anything very seriously. We both liked sailing and walking. He described himself through his friends’ eyes – a humility I warmed to straight away. His photo on free dating
showed a kind, strong face and loads of hair. He was divorced with two children in their late teens, who lived with their mother. The clarity and tact with which he covered this on his profile said a lot about him. I was not put off by his having been married before. It meant he was able to commit, and must have some idea about relationships with women. He was 12 years my senior but so was my father to my mother.