Dating Dilemma Dish: Brit Brit Buys Justin $20,000 Wedding Gift.
Its one thing to be friendly with your ex and wish them well, it’s another to buy them a lavish gift. So it looks like Britney Spears is still “Crazy” for Justin Timberlake. The engaged pop star and new X Factor judge bought her ex quite the wedding present.
She reportedly shelled out close to $20,000 for him and his bride-to-be Jessica Biel to stay on a private island for a week. Say what?! A source close to Brit says she wanted to “thank Justin for always being there for her”. Guess there’s no more “Cry Me a River” days.
There’s just one catch Brit’s fiancé Jason Trawick doesn’t know and would be livid if he found out. Well he does now. “Oops I did it again”.The insider says, “Jason has no idea. Brit’s been reaching out to a lot of old friends and is trying to build bridges. But Jason doesn’t trust her friends. He thinks she’s still too unstable for a regular life.”So that brings us to our dating dilemma of the week. Would you buy your ex a wedding gift? How would you feel if your fiancé bought their ex a wedding gift?
Viewers serve up their thoughts:
Britney: I wouldn’t get an ex a wedding gift unless I was invited to the wedding.
Krystal: getting a vase is one thing but a week on a private island is another …would you wanna go on your honeymoon(or vacay) knowing that your husband’s ex paid for it NOT!!!
Dave: Not happy….mad at her not him.
Diane: yeah, that was then, this now
Melissa: I can understand his reservations but she is friends with Justin. If Jason doesnt want anyone in her life then she needs to cut him loose because he is controlling and obviously jealous. But then again this is from Perez Hilton and more than likely just speculation.
It didn’t take long for Julianne Hough to become smitten with boyfriend Ryan Seacrest, but the starlet admits she almost passed up the opportunity to date him.
“I was reluctant because he is such an influential guy, and what if it didn’t work out?” Hough, 24, tells InStyle in its Makeover 2012 cover story. “Our first date, I was so nervous that I just sat there and interviewed him with questions like, ‘Are you loyal?’ and ‘Are you close to your family?’ ”
Fast-forward to two years later, the pair – who met in 2007 when the Dancing with the Stars and American Idol sets were across the hall from each other – are totally comfortable in their lovey-dovey relationship.
“When we do see each other, we are super excited and do these cute and romantic things,” Hough, who cooks for her beau, 37, says. “I’m 20 lbs. heavier than I was when we started dating. And now we always have great wine, and I can tell the difference. So I told him, ‘You ruined my life because I can’t go to a friend’s house and drink cheap wine anymore.’ “
Ryan Lochte may be winning dating pool with Miss USA Olivia Culpo.
One Direction’s Zayn Malik has a broken foot; Joaquin Phoenix and Heather Christie hit the red carpet.
Ryan Lochte got the gold and maybe even the girl.
Confidential is hearing the Olympic swimmer, who’s also Fashion Week’s hottest commodity, may have landed his biggest prize yet: Miss USA Olivia Culpo.
“Things are still very new, because they just met, and they obviously aren’t exclusive,” says an insider, but they “definitely like each other.”
Lochte and Culpo met Wednesday at the Four Seasons restaurant, where shoe designer Brian Atwood was hosting a party.
“Everyone was trying to get a piece of Ryan at the party, but he spent a chunk of his time talking to Olivia,” says a second source. That source claims Lochte invited Culpo to his “Guys Fashion’s Night Out” event at Ainsworth Park restaurant last Thursday, but Culpo was already booked, so they reunited at the Sherri Hill show Friday.
That’s where Lochte posed for pictures with Culpo and Donald Trump, who owns the Miss Universe Organization.
“He’s got lots of medals, just like you,” Trump told Culpo approvingly.
Based on what Lochte told us at the Rebecca Minkoff runway show Friday, the 20-year-old Boston University student is just his type.
“For the past four years, my face has been down staring at a pool,” said the 28-year-old aqua stud. “She’s definitely got to be pretty … she has to hold her own. I don’t want her to always have to be coming to me for everything. I want to her to be really independent.”
A spokeswoman for Lochte warns Confidential we could be diving in too soon.
“It’s too early to say they’re ‘dating,’ ” she warns. “They get along well and they’ve been to a couple events, but to my knowledge, they’re not ‘dating.’ ”
But Culpo wasn’t exactly denying a connection.
“We just met last week, so I can’t say anything for that, but he’s a good guy,” she said Monday night at the Eric Trump Foundation Golf Invitational and Dinner held at the Trump National Golf Course in Westchester.
A deadly dating game.
A boom in the popularity of gay dating Apps for smart phones has contributed to record high levels of HIV infection in Hong Kong, some Aids prevention workers believe. But is technology or poor sex education at the root of the epidemic? Simon Parry and Hazel Knowles report.
It takes only two or three taps on the screen of a smart phone before the picture of a bare-chested young man pops up. John is 25, he’s single, he’s looking for friends, dates and fun, he’s online now and he’s less than a mile away.
This is the new face of gay dating in Hong Kong. Male-only smart phone applications like Grindr that use global positioning technology to put homosexuals in touch have taken over from saunas and bars as the favored way for a new generation of gay men to source partners.
John’s profile is relatively tame. Others on Grindr are explicit, and make it clear precisely what the person within range is seeking and that in many cases he wants a fast, no-strings-attached sexual encounter.
The popularity of Grindr and other gay dating Apps in Hong Kong coincides with a worrying rise in the HIV infection rate. In the April to June quarter, 131 new cases were diagnosed, the highest quarterly total since records began in 1984.
Department of Health experts believe the number of infections in 2012 could exceed 500 for the first time and say the group where the virus that can lead to Aids is spreading fastest is among young gay men, known as MSM (Men who have Sex with Men).
Some Aids prevention groups believe the use of Grindr and similar Apps is playing a role in the HIV epidemic among MSM and have tried without success to engage the developers to reach out to young men at risk.
“Grindr helps men locate nearby MSM who also installs the same app in their smart phone. So it is much easier for them to locate a sex partner around their living district or area,” explained Aids Concern spokeswoman Panda Cheung Yin-mei.
“It has become popular in the past one or two years and it is one of the factors that are contributing to the record high levels of infections.
“A lot of MSM install this program and they search and find if there is an MSM nearby when they have free time. It is much easier for them to meet, and to have sex.” Although Grindr is popular worldwide, claiming more than 4 million users, its potential to help spread HIV infection in Hong Kong is exacerbated by a lack of sex education in schools, Cheung argued.
“There is no homosexual-specific sex education in Hong Kong,” she said. “Young men are immature and they may not have the ability to negotiate safer sex when they have sex with an older partner. They feel they will be rejected if they ask for sex with a condom.
“The real problem is that schools do not encourage homosexual sex education. They should have it but I think there are a lot of social barriers in Hong Kong I think the government could put sex education forward with emphasis on young MSM in schools.”
Aids Concern runs support groups to educate young MSM – mostly in the 17 to 25 age range – about the importance of condom use and to try to encourage them to be more assertive with sexual partners over condom use.
It has also tried without success to collaborate with Grindr to reach out online to young MSM who might be vulnerable after meeting partners by using the app, said Cheung. However, she said: “There is a barrier to collaborating with the social media.
“Grindr is a money-making software. They have tightened monitoring of users and they don’t welcome NGOs doing outreach on the Grindr networks. Once they find a phone number is an NGO number, they block the number so the NGO cannot do it again.
“We have made preliminary contact with the Grindr developer and they have told us we welcome you as yourself, but you can’t post your agency logo on the Grindr network.”
Cheung said she believed Grindr had a social responsibility to facilitate more intervention because of the rise in HIV among young men. “We need some more time to negotiate,” she said. “They are now at the stage of making money. So maybe they will be more receptive later on.”
Responding to questions from the China Daily, a spokesman for Grindr said in an emailed statement: “Grindr strongly encourages our users to engage in safe sex practices, get tested and know their HIV status. Knowledge is power, and it’s the first and most important step in stopping the spread of this disease.
“As a company, we’re committed to promoting safe sex within the community, and we want to be a resource for our users in staying healthy. We have a page on our website called Grindr Health. On that page, users can find effective testing facilities or confidential online testing options to help them know their status before engaging in any sexual activity.
“We encourage our users to explore this page and browse through the information to learn the best way to protect both themselves and their sexual partners.”
Wong Ka-hing, consultant in the special preventative department of the Department of Health’s Centre for Health Protection, said there had been a proportionately greater rise in HIV infections among MSM since 2005, not just in Hong Kong but on the mainland, regionally and globally.
Department of Health research had not detected a specific link between HIV rates and the use of Apps like Grindr, Wong said, but he remarked: “Certainly, social media imposes new challenges. It is evolving and presenting opportunities for both HIV infection and prevention.
“At-risk populations including MSM and sex workers and clients can source sex partners more easily via these channels. But at the same time we have launched a mobile application to provide information on free condom accessibility and HIV testing services.”
Of the 131 quarterly infections in April to June, 65 were MSM infections and at least some of the 37 infections of so-far undetermined source were expected to fall into the same category, he said. The figure is both the highest quarterly number and ratio of MSM infections on record.
By contrast, Wong said, the trend for heterosexual infections had remained stable in recent years. “The MSM epidemic is a big challenge in HIV prevention and control,” he said, with rates many times higher than other at-risk groups.
Most infections in the MSM community result from unprotected sex. “I am not sure why but maybe some members in the (MSM) community are just ambivalent. They don’t have enough awareness or concern about the risk of infection, or they just ignore the issue,” said Wong.
In contrast to Grindr’s rapid popularity, the Department of Health’s mobile app targeting MSM has picked up few followers so far, Wong admitted.
The most effective way to tackle the epidemic, however, he said, was through safe sex education and regular HIV testing – something currently done by around 40 percent of Hong Kong’s MSM population.
“If safe sex can be taught at an early age, it is useful for future protection,” Wong said. “Interestingly, from the surveys we have done, we found that condom use when an MSM first has sex is correlated with consistent condom use in future.
“We don’t know why but this finding is quite consistent. So it would be useful if they could be taught to use condom when they have sex when they are still quite young.”
Paul Ramscar, a Hong Kong businessman and gay rights advocate who is launching a Pink Dollar smart phone app to promote gay-friendly bars, shops, nightclubs and restaurants, said it would be wrong to single out Grindr for blame in the rise in HIV cases.
“It’s a tragedy when this happens to someone but ultimately the buck stops with the individual. They need to be looking after their own health,” he said. “If they want to take the risks, if they want to play what is effectively Russian Roulette by not using a condom, then maybe there are going to be consequences.”
Social media and smart Apps had undoubtedly reshaped the gay scene in Hong Kong, Ramscar conceded. But he argued it was not constructive to single out one, such as Grindr, as there are others on the market serving the same function, such as Gaydar and Manhunt.
“Before, there was never the technology to go online and meet someone within 10 minutes if you were looking for a quick hook-up,” Ramscar said. “You had to go through the process of going to a bar to meet someone or reply to personal ads in the newspaper and it took quite some time.”
The key issue in tackling the spread of HIV is education, Ramscar believes. “Back in the mid to late 80s when (pop star) Freddy Mercury died there was a huge campaign worldwide to make people aware about Aids and safe sex,” he said. “I cannot recall seeing one of those types of ads for probably 15 years.
“You have this younger generation coming through who have probably had no sex education and probably never seen an advertisement on TV about sex education. They are not being educated and they lack the education and the knowledge to use condoms.
“Sex as a topic in Hong Kong is very taboo. People don’t talk about it. It needs to be on the agenda in schools. Times have changed, and more really should be done in Hong Kong to educate young people.”
Jimmy Lo, senior project officer with the Hong Kong Aids Foundation, said inadequate sex education meant young people in Hong Kong lacked knowledge of HIV and Aids and were not equipped with the skills to protect themselves.
“There are times when I go to the university and talk to psychology students about our work and I have been asked about how HIV and Aids is transmitted. These are undergraduates – they are not children – and they don’t know.
“Sex education should start earlier – in primary school or early secondary school. We should be talking not just about safe sex but how to have a healthy holistic relationship and sexual relationships. The government needs to do more on this.”
If the best things in life come for free, and one of the best things in life that you could ever wish for is love, then how come there are so many dating websites out there that you have to pay for? Surely that goes against the whole concept of finding love, especially when you consider the cost of having to pay for it!
The thing about paid dating websites is that they come with many more advantages than you first may have thought of. For example, if someone goes to the trouble of creating a profile, adding pictures, and then paying for the privilege to look at and then chat to other members, they are less like to be scammers or time wasters. This boosts the confidence of those looking to use the site in order to find love, and generally means a better calibre of person. However, this only works when you are picking the RIGHT paid dating websites – there are a lot of phoney websites out there, and it pays to be sure of the top 5 things that you should be looking at in order to find love.
1. Is there a free trial period that you can take advantage of? There is no point in paying for a website that you are going to end up hating, so why not look for the websites that offer either a free trial, or a money back guarantee? You can learn how to use the website, and not have to pay for a penny, or at least get your money back if you are not impressed with it.
2. Look for better security options. The paid websites generally mean that you have more security behind it, which in turn means that you can feel safer about your whole experience. You should look for things such as blocking people, added security measures to keep your details safe, and how secure the payment pages are. Although certain free websites, such as Plenty of Fish offer blocking services, you don’t really have the option to block people that are just looking for a one night stand or an extra marital affair, whereas the paid websites tend to offer these options for your safety and happiness.
Online Dating: Top five things to look for on paid sites.
3. Look for things while you are signing up – do you have to post a profile? Do you have to pay by a credit card? Do you have to fill in your profile page with a minimum amount of words? These things, although trivial and annoying to you, are there to ensure that there are no scammers and time wasters and show a good paid dating website. Many scams avoid putting photos on, and the fact that the membership has been paid for via a credit card means that it can be easily traced in the cases of frauds or scams.
4. Is your profile “Pending Approval”? What does this mean? It means that not just anyone is going to be using the website, and this pending approval status means that your viewing pleasure is going to be a real one and not just a bunch of hocus pocus with time wasters and scammers.
5. How are you paying? The problem with paid for dating websites is that a minimum fixed term will mean that you are put under more pressure in order to find love, before your subscription runs out and you have to pay again. If you have a month-by-month membership, you are less likely to feel pressured into “hurrying up”. You should also avoid websites that charge per message or “token” – a rose, kiss or other smiley that is sent to the person that you are interested in. If you are charged by the message/token, you are less likely to send as many messages, and therefore less likely to find love.
At the end of the day, these websites are there to help you but there are a lot of bad websites out there that you should avoid. By using these simple tips, you should be on your way to finding love in no time at all, and on a website that you are truly happy with.
Eva Longoria: New Guy and New Show?
Has Eva Longoria moved on from her recent split with Eduardo Cruz and the end of Desperate Housewives already?!
The actress, who split from Penélope Cruz‘s little brother earlier this month, was spotted dining with Prison Break actor Amaury Nolasco and naturally, darting rumors have already begun to circulate.
So is Longoria dating again? And what’s the new TV show she’s working?
Both Longoria and Nolasco’s reps declined to comment on the dating rumors, sources tell us that they have been very close friends for many years.
Most recently, Nolasco was dating Once Upon a Time star Jennifer Morrison, but a Michigan Ave Magazine cover article on the actress states, “There’s not currently a man in Morrison’s life.”
While Longoria’s own love life remains a mystery, she’s setting out to help others find love in the public eye with her new reality dating show.
A source confirms that Longoria is developing a new dating show for NBC in which professional matchmakers set up single people. The project, which is currently titled All About Love, comes from Longoria’s UnbeliEVAble production company and will feature professional matchmakers Steve Ward (from VH1′s Tough Love) and Amber Kelleher, who owns Kelleher International, an elite dating company.
All About Love is set to go into production next month.
Coaching Boys into Men Is Effective Tool in Preventing Teen Dating Violence, Study Finds.
Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh of UPMC Expert finds that program participants more likely to intervene when confronted with teen dating violence.
San Francisco, CA /Pittsburgh, PA - Coaching Boys into Men (CBIM), a program for high schools that seeks to reduce dating violence and sexual assault, is effective in discouraging teen dating violence and abusive behaviors, according to a study that will appear in the April issue of The Journal of Adolescent Health and appearing online March 26.
Created by Futures Without Violence, the CBIM program engages coaches to promote messages of respect and health relationships.
A three year study of more than 2,000 male athletes in 16 California high schools confirmed the positive impact of the program. The study was led by Elizabeth Miller, M.D., Ph.D., chief, Division of Adolescent Medicine at Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh of UPMC and associate professor of pediatrics at University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine Dr. Miller conducted the study while a member of the faculty at University of California Davis.
“As schools, parents and students grapple with the problem of teen dating violence, our study findings offer hope that prevention programs can work,” said Dr. Miller. “The high school male athletes whose coaches delivered this easy-to-implement program reported more positive bystander behaviors, meaning that these boys were more likely to say or do something to stop disrespectful and harmful behaviors towards girls that they witnessed among their male peers,”
In the program, high school coaches are trained to use a “Coaches Kit,” a series of training cards that offer key strategies for opening conversations about dating violence and appropriate attitudes toward women. A key component of the 12-week curriculum is teaching young men that even as bystanders they must speak out when witnessing abuse by adults or peers.
Among the study’s top findings:
- CBIM participants were significantly more likely to report intervening to stop disrespectful or harmful behaviors among their peers;
- CBIM participants were slightly more likely to recognize abusive behaviors than a control group of teens who did not participate in the program; and,
- Participants also reported less verbal and emotional abuse against a female partner after participating in the CBIM program.
“This study indicates that it is possible to prevent violence before it happens,” said Futures Without Violence Founder and President Esta Soler. “Coaches can be excellent role models who can positively shape young athletes’ attitudes about women and girls and healthy relationships.”
For more information about Coaching Boys Into Men, watch online.
“Coaching Boys into Men: A Cluster-Randomized Controlled Trial of a Dating Violence Prevention Program” will be published in April’s Journal of Adolescent Health.
The study was funded by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The Waitt Institute for Violence Prevention funds the Coaching Boys into Men program. The Coaching Boys into Men tools are available for free download from Futures Without Violence at site.
Collaborators on the study were Elizabeth Miller, M.D., Ph.D.; Heather L. McCauley, MS; Maria Catrina D. Virata, MPH; Heather A. Anderson, B.S., all of Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh of UPMC; Daniel J. Tancredi, Ph.D., UC Davis School of Medicine and Center for Healthcare Policy and Research; Michele R. Decker, ScD, Department of Population, Family and Reproductive Health, Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health; Nicholas Stetkevich, MPH, Department of Pediatrics, UC Davis School of Medicine; Ernest W Brown, B.S., of WEAVE, Inc.; Feroz Moideen, J.D., Futures Without Violence; Jay G. Silverman, Ph.D., University of California San Diego School of Medicine.
Dating Women: Is revenge on an ex ever justified?
Dating Women is an occasional relationship column that appears in Health.
Q Is vengeance ever a good idea? I’m feeling particularly bitter and resentful about a guy who was falling all over me, in love with me one week and then back with his ex the next, claiming he still had feelings for her that he had to figure out. I’m not talking about the kind of revenge that involves bodily harm or damage to any of his possessions, just something that would make me feel better about how badly this guy treated me, and make him feel as bad as he made me feel. Any ideas?
A You can’t fight fire with fire. It just results in a bigger fire. And, honestly, he hasn’t done anything that many of us haven’t done before — that is, be confused about our feelings/make a mistake/get back together with an ex.
The best revenge you can have is to find another better relationship and/or be happy and enjoy life. If you can’t go directly to happy, do something that will help satisfy your revenge urge without starting an inferno. Write him a nasty letter but don’t send it, for example. Anything that helps you satisfy your desire for payback but won’t get you arrested.
Q My girlfriend of six months recently sat me down for what was essentially an “I need space” conversation. I immediately assumed that this was simply a disguised, gentle way of giving me the boot, but I was confused because I really felt like things had been chugging along quite nicely. When I told her this, she completely agreed and said that’s the reason she needs some breathing room. She went on to explain that most of her past relationships failed because she felt she invested too much of herself in trying to making them work and lost her identity in the process. She’d eventually resent this and end things. She said that because she feels we have something special, she wants to make sure she doesn’t repeat this pattern and feels that establishing more space for herself within our relationship will ultimately be better for it. What do you think?
— Space Issues
A I do think space can be good for a relationship. But in order for the concept of “needing space” to be good for a relationship, you both have to be actively involved in how it goes down. What kind of space does she need? Also, set a time limit on your little “space” experiment.
Ilona Szwarc’s ‘American Girls’ Explores The Meaning Of Girlhood In The U.S.
If you grew up with an American Girl doll, you probably remember creating a whole world around it filled with pint-sized clothing, accessories and furniture — maybe even a matching outfit. And as The Hairpin quipped, your doll may have even predicted your future life path and personality. Now Polish-born photographer Ilona Szwarc is asking what these American Girl dolls really have to say about American girlhood.
When Szwarc moved to New York City in 2008, she became immediately intrigued by the idea of the American Girl doll and the industry that surrounded it. “I realized that [the American Girl doll] design embodies contemporary cultural values,” Szwarc wrote. “They were conceived to be anti-Barbie toys modeled after [the] body of a 9-year-old. Each doll can be customized to look exactly like its owner, yet all of them really look the same.” To explore this, Szwarc took a series of photographs of young women across the country posing with their AG dolls. The resulting images are both beautiful and slightly haunting, depicting girls from a diverse range of backgrounds, all standing next to their own miniature avatars.
The series, titled “American Girls,” focuses specifically on “My American Girl” dolls, which consumers customize to look like themselves, rather than the more traditional “Historical Figures” dolls which Szwarc feels project a more positive and educational message. The lookalike line began in 1995, but really expanded after the Pleasant Company was acquired by Mattel in 1998.
“I think there is a natural need to relate to and carve out an identity, and these dolls play an important role for girls,” Szwarc told The Huffington Post in an email. “Girls in the U.S. seem to all be raised as future stars and they feel very entitled — these dolls underscore that.”
I’ve Never Dated Anyone without Dating Their Politics, Too.
As a lifelong Democrat, I never thought I would be in this place. I never thought I would have to confront this dreaded unforeseen fear — the terror that is, for me, dating a Republican. I don’t even know very many Republicans. But it turns out, I’m not alone. Outside of Washington D.C., the entire country is pretty segregated when it comes to political parties. According to dating website, seven out of ten people are in a relationship with someone of the same political persuasion. I grew up knowing very few Republicans and the rare ones I did know got made fun behind their backs, be it children or adults. I know there were some Republicans at my college because there was a “College Republicans” group on campus, but this was the Bushy era and the conservatives who were smart enough to get into my university were too smart to be vocal defenders of the Dick Cheney puppet show that was the aughts. I’ve been living in Los Angeles ever since in the type of place where, at the moment President Obama was pronounced the winner of the race, we threw open our windows and whooped and shrieked out into the streets till an impromptu parade erupted and bars served free drinks. I cried. I’ve worked for the Democratic Party, interned for a Democratic Congressman and Senator. And even though I went to a more conservative law school, there were enough liberals on campus that if you included the faculty, we could flock together so that I rarely interacted with those others who met with our derision.
So when I tell you I never thought I would date a Republican, it’s not because I really contemplated it and made a specific decision. It’s because as long as I didn’t drive to Orange County, my chances of actually running into one felt slim to none. We live in a birds-of-a-feather type of country. So how did I get to here? How did I come to date a man who told me he “liked a lot of Mitt Romney’s ideas” and that he thought John Kerry wasn’t really a war hero and that cap and trade is a terrible system? At first I didn’t think it would be a big issue. I fell in love with someone who has many similar interests and a big generous heart and when he told me he was an Independent, I thought that was just something moderate Democrats said when being pretentious about how non-conformist they are. I didn’t realize I was dating someone who would spend every single Tuesday night glued to Wolf Blitzer’s analysis of another Republican primary. And to be frank, at this point, it’s making me freak out. I get mad at him just thinking about our past political discussions. I can’t date a Republican! What was I thinking? What if I have little Republican babies?
Naturally, he doesn’t think it’s a big deal. He keeps saying we can always find common ground. But I find myself angry with him for things that I expect to take for granted. He admitted to me that the word “liberal” for him had a bad connotation and that the word “conservative” did not. It’s hard to blame him when this is a common phenomena in our country now so that only 20% of the population identifies as liberal while 40% is willing to identify as conservative. I tell him this is a direct result of the vitriol that Fox News and Rush Limbough and Glen Beck have injected into our discourse and he shouldn’t buy into their demonizing of the left. But for my boyfriend, “liberal” means big government inefficiency. I’m normally a calm person, but when he said this, I was close to flipping out. How could he buy into all that? He’s a smart person, he reads reputable news sources. And yet, I continually find myself mad at him for buying into conservative propaganda.
Everyone always points to Mary Matalin and James Carville as shining examples of a couple with different political beliefs and a stable marriage. But honestly, have you seen them bicker on tv? I love watching them but I don’t want to fight like that in my home. I want my home to be a place of tranquility and calm and little social justice fighters playing pin your favorite president on the blue donkey.
Another burgeoning concern is that I’m starting to feel like I always have to watch what I say. Yes, I know there are many intelligent Republicans out there and if the party was made up of just David Frums and Christopher Buckleys or even Mitt Romneys, they’d be a reasonable moderate party that I have an intellectual disagreement with and there wouldn’t be anything to make fun of. But for now, there are a lot of crazy extremist cooks running the Republican party and when you get into Santorum territory and Palin country, I want the freedom to openly mock and deride in a forum where I don’t have to worry about offending someone. Is that so wrong? I’m sick of back-peddling every time I accidentally call them teabaggers.
Months ago, we got to talking about Ron Paul, or rather, my boyfriend got to telling me all about him. Although we don’t disagree that much on social issues, we disagree quite a bit about how influential social issues should be when it comes to casting a ballot, so we started to really get into it. At one point, I said that certain individual rights and liberties should be the most important issue and I was disappointed in my boyfriend because he was willing to forgo those liberties in order to “make a buck.” He was offended and hurt. Admittedly, I went too far and I believe he is compassionate for those less fortunate and I know he doesn’t think he’s sacrificing civil rights for money. But I was making an impassioned argument and this is how liberals talk when we’re amongst friends. To stay in my relationship, I must resolve myself somewhat to being more careful in my language now when talking about fiscal conservatives but in so doing, is that the best decision for a healthy relationship? No one wants to have to walk on eggshells around their partner.
Last week, I went over to my boyfriend’s to watch the HBO docudrama Game Change about Palin’s Vice Presidential bid over some wine and take-out. When it was over, I felt bad for John McCain, but outraged at all the doltish hicks who were venerating this ignorant backwards woman who reveled in her lack of knowledge. My boyfriend on the other hand, said he felt bad for her.
How can you feel bad for her? I was shocked. Why is it always the Republican party that nominates idiots? Joe the Plumber, Christine O’Donnell. Democrats would never allow someone who didn’t understand what the “fed” was to run for city councilman let alone the Vice-Presidency.
How much do you really know about what the Fed does? He shot back.
I almost lost it. In that moment, he was impugning my knowledge and at the same time defending Sarah Palin. I was livid. How can I build my life with someone who defends Sarah Palin and thinks “liberal” is a dirty word? We went back and forth for a while with me spouting off economic knowledge and him keeping my rhetoric in check. But I went to bed angry that night.
I know we’re not supposed to try to change our significant others, but I can’t help but hope that I might be able to make a tried and true blue Democrat out of him. It’s worked somewhat so far, as I’ve been able to convince him that John Kerry really was a war hero and that Mitt Romney has backtracked on climate change. And maybe I am better off calling them teapartyers and aside from adjusting interest rates I don’t really know that much about the Fed. Congress recently passed the first Bi-partisan piece of legislation in years so if they can do it, surely two people who love each other and share many of the same values can find common ground as well. Now, if I could only get him to start watching Bill Maher with me…
Hackers steal passwords from military dating site.
LulzSec comes back with data dump from site for single military officers.
Hackers broke into the database for a military dating Web site and stole passwords, e-mail addresses, and other information from nearly 171,000 accounts, according to a post on the Pastebin site this weekend:
“The website http://www.militarysingles.com/ was recently closed day ago or so, so we dumped email db,” the hackers said in their post. “There are emails such as @us.army.mil ; @carney.navy.mil ; @greatlakes.cnet.navy.mil ; @microsoft.com ; etc..”
So-called “data dumps” are a common occurrence, but what makes this one notable is that the group is using the names “LulzSec” and “LulzSec Reborn.” The FBI announced the arrest three weeks ago of alleged key members of the LulzSec group of hackers who had taunted government agents and harassed government contractors and other corporations by attacking their sites and stealing data since last year. The group was reportedly brought down by one of their own, known as “Sabu,” who had apparently been working as an informant since last summer when he pleaded guilty to computer hacking conspiracy and other charges.The group took credit for attacks on sites belonging to Sony, PBS.org, the U.S. Senate, CIA, Arizona sheriffs, and others before announcing last June that they were calling it quits following a 50-day hacking spree. Their retirement was short lived though, as hackers using the LulzSec name continued their seige on law enforcement and corporate sites. Representatives from ESingles, which operates the dating site, did not respond to an e-mail seeking comment today. However, the firm commented on an article about the breach on site.
Kingfish Labs Raises $500,000 To Turn Facebook Profiles Into Dating Profiles And Mutual Friends Into Matchmakers.
There are a lot of dating sites and many of them pull in Facebook data. Few of them actually sit on top of Facebook and reorder profiles based on your dating preferences.
Yoke is Kingfish Lab’s first Facebook app. Kingfish Labs is a new company that raised $500,000 from Lerer Ventures and Softbank Capital to crunch Facebook data and create recommendation apps.
“Mark Zuckerberg said Facebook’s first five years were about building a user base and the next five are about creating an app economy. We believe that,” says Kingfish Labs co-founder Rob Fishman.
Kingfish Labs and Yoke were founded by Fishman and a fellow Huffington Post employee, Jeff Revesz.
Rob Fishman served as Huffington Post’s social media editor. Jeff Revesz joined the company in 2010 when his startup, Adaptive Semantics, was acquired. There they met Ken Lerer, Huffington Post’s co-founder and an investor in Kingfish Labs. They’re working out of Lerer Ventures’ office at 560 Broadway in New York City.
Yoke launched out of private beta last week; 2,500 people have signed up to use the service. When a user signs up for Yoke, they can say if they’re single or in a relationship. If they’re in a relationship, they become a matchmaker and can introduce single friends to each other. If they’re single, they can send a Yoke or Facebook message to a friend for an introduction to the second degree person.
Fishman says he and his team of four have been working to analyze Facebook data for future Yoke-like products.
“It’s easy to imagine a situation where the Facebook recommendation data we have on the back end can be generalized,” says Fishman. “You could have an app that recommends music to you, and it becomes easier to make because we’ve already done the work on the back end. Or if you’re a publisher like Huffington Post and a Facebook user stumbles across an article, they can recommend it to other like-minded people. The most obvious layer is recommending people to people, like Yoke, but you can drill down deeper.”
My husband goes on dating websites to meet other women – Coleen Nolan’s advice column
I’ve been married for two years, but have been with my husband for four years and we have a two-year-old daughter.
At the moment I just don’t know what to do as my husband is going on dating websites and setting up profiles, saying that he’s single and wants to meet someone for fun only, no sex involved.
He’s also started to go out more and I know he’s flirting with other girls and getting their numbers and texting them behind my back.
I do love my husband, but I just can’t put up with this kind of behaviour any more. I’m not sure how to handle the situation, though, because every time I bring it up, he turns around and blames me, saying that I’m the one who’s pushing him that way.
He makes me feel like the bad one, so I always end up running back to him. Recently, I caught him at it again and finished it, but he says he won’t take me back unless I fulfil all his sexual fantasies. I don’t think this is fair.
I really am at breaking point – can you help?
Look, he’s never going to change while you keep saying it’s over then go running back to him. He knows you don’t mean it.
Stop threatening him with that, but tell him in no uncertain terms that he either stops what he’s doing because it’s threatening your marriage or it’s over.
But you have to mean it. However, you have to ask yourself if you really want to be with someone who batters your self-esteem till it’s nothing and makes out it’s your fault, before laying down conditions on which he’ll take you back. How dare he? It’s mental abuse.
Why bring up your girl in a relationship where she thinks that’s how women should be treated? If you can’t stand up to him for yourself, do it for her and say that you won’t be treated like this.
I understand it’s easy for me to give you this advice as I’m not in love with him, but at some point you have to find the strength within yourself not to put up with this and to break the cycle of threatening him with leaving.
Draw on your friends and family for support – don’t struggle on your own. Why not take your daughter and stay at your mum’s or with a friend? Whatever you do, he needs to know you mean business.
I think he’ll end up on dating sites his whole life, as I can’t imagine many women putting up with that kind of behaviour.
As this century dawned and half the world was waking up to the first day of the Noughties, I was walking down the Strand ending my seven year relationship. I was 35 and it felt like hell. Most of my friends and all of my siblings had children. I came from a family of six and in my twenties had never questioned that I would be a mother. But in fact I did not have that compelling need, as some women do, to have a baby. As my best childbearing years were already behind me, I accepted that I had probably missed that boat.
At first I quite liked being single again anyway. I liked running on the Common in the early mornings before work. I liked having the papers to myself on a Sunday. And I quite liked the open book my life had become. I went on some great holidays learning to sail with a crew of French and Irishmen off the coast of Cork; doing Tai Chi with a bunch of girls on a Greek Island and learning Thai massage from someone of dubious gender on a beach in Koh Phangan.
But going to parties alone, spending Christmas Day literally alone in my flat, twice, and worst of all, going to bed alone at night were not easy.
Over the next five years in between singles holidays and solitary Christmases I went from one cliche – the Office Christmas Party Romance With The Boss which lasted a year – to another, a three year dalliance with a man so afraid of commitment he would not buy cinema tickets in case he turned out not to like the film.
As I approached 40 instead of feeling panicked I began to feel a new confidence. No, I was not quite ready for spinsterhood yet. I clearly had a dodgy relationship radar, so maybe I needed to look in a different way. Perhaps technology could help. I knew the prejudices about online free dating: it was all married men looking for an extra-marital fling, no one looked like their picture and everyone lied about their age. But I had a friend, who had met his partner on line. He was genuine, he was kind, he was solvent, he was even handsome. My logic said that if he was out there, there might be more like him. I just had to look.
Over the next year I went on free dating with about 10 different men, most of them one-offs. None, contrary to the myth, were married. They varied between chronic shyness and laughable arrogance. One walked off leaving me at a restaurant table because I would not drink. One sent me a nasty email on free dating after I abandoned the date because he was running so late.
Only two fell into the category of ‘A Bit Scary’ – the first telling me how he nursed his mother to her death as we walked along a very dark street and the second who was furious that my long hair had been cut into a bob since my profile photo on free dating had been taken. He accused me of being two different people.
There was one Possible – a media lawyer, who was funny and clever. We went on a few dates, which I really enjoyed, but it became clear that he was still recovering from a very painful divorce.
Then there was Porsche Man, who I only spoke to on the phone. On his profile on free dating he sounded OK and his picture looked nice, but as we tried to arrange a time to meet up, he mentioned, at least twice, that he owned a Porsche and seemed upset that I was not more impressed. It became clear that he was about to tell me I should count myself lucky, before I made my excuses…
However, that same November evening I received a call from another man whose profile I had picked out one night as I sat in bed with tonsillitis, feeling feverish, seriously unattractive and impatient. I could not be bothered chatting free dating by email and simply sent my phone number saying, “If you are interested, call me.”
By then I had learned what to look for when checking a prospect’s profile on free dating– not the photo. It tells you very little. I had also changed mine from one where I thought I looked my best – makeup, earrings and a black cocktail dress – to one taken by my cousin, in which I looked relaxed, friendly: my approachable self.
His profile on free dating said he liked films. I love films and we had both listed On Golden Pond as one of our favourites. He was an engineer – a scientist to my arts background. I was attracted to someone who could actually do stuff. He was a Kiwi but had lived in London for over 20 years. I had worked with loads of New Zealanders and loved their reluctance to take anyone or anything very seriously. We both liked sailing and walking. He described himself through his friends’ eyes – a humility I warmed to straight away. His photo on free dating
showed a kind, strong face and loads of hair. He was divorced with two children in their late teens, who lived with their mother. The clarity and tact with which he covered this on his profile said a lot about him. I was not put off by his having been married before. It meant he was able to commit, and must have some idea about relationships with women. He was 12 years my senior but so was my father to my mother.
It wasn’t all plain sailing. My first impression when I walked up to shake his hand on that bright November day, was that he had only one eye and had doctored his profile photo to disguise it. As we stood discussing where to have coffee I wondered if I could love a one-eyed man. It was not until we were sitting down having lunch that I realised he had been squinting into the low winter sun.
Oh did I say lunch? Yes. My strict rule on coffee-only for first dates was brushed aside in favour of a ‘nice little Thai place’, just around the corner. But I let it go. At the end of the afternoon I offered him a lift to the station, breaking my second rule of free dating.
I wouldn’t say it was love at first sight, but something was definitely different. On our third date we agreed to take down our profiles from the website.
We bumped around for a bit through all the usual stuff of any new relationship. He had not chatted anyone up for a long time and it showed. I had not trusted anyone for a long time, and it showed. One of our first dates was a Christmas riverboat party thrown by the company where he worked. I dressed up – long velvet gown, new hair-do. When he arrived to pick me up I commented on how nice he looked. The compliment was not returned and I was furious (I have since coached him in how and when to compliment).
But when trouble struck we just could not be apart, no matter how annoying the other one could be. By February we were properly going out. On Valentine’s Day we ran off to Brighton and stayed at The Grand – a tradition we continue to this day.
The moment came when I knew he was The One after a row in which I had panicked and called it all off. As I put the phone down, I thought about how happy he had made me. I simply could not countenance my life without him. I had never felt that way about anybody. I slept on it to see if it felt any different the next day. It didn’t. After two days I called him back and told him that I loved him. I just had not known it.
We were about five months into the relationship when one afternoon, over a chat in a tea shop, our worlds changed for ever. The dating site had asked whether you wanted children. We had both ticked ‘no’, he because he already had two, me because I was over 40 and was being realistic.
“You know, I would like a baby with you,” he said, just like that, as I poured the tea.
By the time the scones turned up we were engaged. Well not officially. I made him propose properly much later, with a ring, on bended knee, on top of a mountain, with snow and everything. But really there was no going back from that moment. I realised, right then, that I would like a baby with him too.
We got married that summer and our son was born two years later, healthy and bright. Both conception and birth were achieved without the aid of modern medicine, though I was in hospital for the latter. I was 43.
Match with online dating sites
Giving out your number has taken on a whole new meaning in the online dating world. Direct carrier biller mopay announced the launch of new payment service tailored for online matchmaking sites that lets users of online dating services pay for those services using their mobile numbers. The services are then billed directly to the user’s mobile phone bill.
YanikaDate.com launched the new service at Yanika INC 2012 U.S., the annual conference for cyber matchmakers. The company said it is already working with several international dating sites to implement the service.
“The online dating industry is a fast-paced, thriving and competitive market filled with young, mobile-savvy consumers,” said Kolja Reiss, managing director of mopay. “At mopay, we see a real opportunity to help online dating services realize their full potential by including an alternative payments strategy.”
Reiss said consumers of online dating services don’t want the hassles and risks association with using credit cards.
“By selecting mopay as a payment option, online daters can focus on finding the perfect date – not their credit card,” Reiss said.
The solution is similar to other direct carrier billing services used for gaming and social media. Consumers simply enter their mobile numbers at the checkout screen and confirm the purchase with a text message. The subscription is then added to their monthly phone bill. It handles both single and recurring charges up to $50.
For dating sites, the new payment option provides increased traffic and conversion, mopay said. Not only do visitors convert to members at a faster rate, but direct carrier billing also appeals to the unbanked market, opening up a new market. Additionally, since an actual phone is required to complete the transaction, direct carrier billing provides a higher level of security. That means dating sites have less likelihood for fraud with the payment method, the company said.
Kim Kardashian: If You Truly Loved Kris Humphries, Then Why Did You Divorce Him?
Kim, you insisted to Kelly Ripa on ‘Live! with Kelly’ on Jan. 23, that you truly loved Kris and that you tried everything to make marriage work — but that can’t be true.
Kim — if you truly loved Kris Humphries when you married him on Aug. 20 2011, then there’s no way that you could have fallen out of love just a few weeks later.
That’s not how love works. True love is a much stronger, deeper emotion than that. It doesn’t just exist for a couple of months — enough time to get engaged and married — then go puft — as soon as you start to live together and film a reality show.
Yes, infatuation, can disappear within a matter of months, especially, if you were infatuated simply with the idea of a wedding, more than an actual person.But real love doesn’t dissolve into simply not caring, at all, 72 days later.
Furthermore, you declared to Kelly that you tried “everything” to save your marriage within that 72 days, but again, Kim — you know that’s impossible.
Remember — you filmed a reality show virtually from the beginning of your marriage. In the first couple of episodes you were gung ho to get pregnant and start a family with Kris — so you must have still been happily married at that point.
Then, all of a sudden Kris was starting to “annoy” you, you needed to take a “sister” weekend away from Kris. You were upset that he went to Toronto to make a public appearance without your approval.
Before that you were miffed that he has a small party in your hotel suite when you weren’t there. Then you were off to Dubai — alone — on business where you confided in your mother that you weren’t happy in your marriage — it was OVER!
So where did the trying everything to save your marriage come in? At what point were you truly trying to work out your issues and problems with Kris? When did you even tell him how you felt about him and the marriage? When did you get counseling?
What in fact, were your real problems with Kris? We never saw him being that difficult or unloving on the show? We did not see you trying to control him. We saw you disapprove of him every time he did anything independent of you. But he was never malicious. He never cheated. In fact, we never saw him look at another woman.
We did see him being puzzled or hurt by your cold behavior to him and his sister, Kaela.
So we’re not quite buying into your statement that you “tried everything” in 72 days, to make your marriage work. Seventy – two days in itself is NOT a long time to make any marriage work, and especially one that is being filmed for a reality show.
It’s also not a long time to fall out of love with a person that you really did love when you said your wedding vows. And to coldly serve them divorce papers when you were thousands of miles apart. If you had had any feelings left for Kris, at all then you would have handled the split far differently.
Didn’t he deserve more consideration because of your past feelings at least, when you split. Was it really fair to off load him by filing divorce papers without his knowledge, allow them to be leaked to the press, and then leaving for Australia, the very same day?
Justin Bieber Holds Selena Gomez’s Hand In Puerto Rico — Cute New Pic
Justin was with Selena in Puerto Rico this week to show some international love.
Justin Bieber may be back in the states now, but he and Selena Gomez were enjoying some couple time in Puerto Rico on Jan. 23, and one lucky fan captured their PDA first-hand! Though you can’t see her face in this photo, Selena is following closely behind Justin as they make their way through the airport en route to the U.S. He’s always protecting her!
Selena performed in Puerto Rico on Jan. 22, flashing quite a bit of leg in a sexy on-stage ensemble.
Earlier that day, Justin tweeted a photo of himself sleeping at the airport — clearly excited to fly to Puerto Rico to see Selena!
‘Bachelor’ Ben Flajnik: Did Courtney Robertson Deceive Me?
It sounds like Ben is finally realizing that Courtney was more into winning the competition than falling in love with him while they were filming ‘The Bachelor.’
Ben Flajnik seems completely whipped by cunning Courtney Robertson on this season of The Bachelor. On air, he’s falling hard for her, but he doesn’t see her manipulative ways. Now, after watching the Jan. 23 episode, Ben seems to be starting to realize that Courtney isn’t who she pretended to be while filming.
“One thing I was completely oblivious to was Courtney causing such a stir with the other women,” Ben writes in his personal People.com blog. “I thought that she was just making the most of her moments with me. It’s really hard to not let your mind get caught up in ‘Do I really know that this person is being sincere?’”
At the time Ben was filming episode four, he thought Courtney was being sincere. But now, he seems to be questioning her motives. “I tried to give everyone the benefit of the doubt,” he explains. “I tried not to go into this experience with the fear that I was getting played, but I will say that if I let myself go there, it’s a common fear in any relationship. Am I seeing the real side to this person?”
“While I was feeling all these positive thoughts, little did I know there was a big blowout between Emily and Courtney happening, which again makes me wonder what was I not really seeing in some of the women,” continues Ben. “It’s really hard to navigate this process, especially when I don’t see what is going on between the ladies when I’m not in the room.”
Ben is reportedly secretly engaged to Courtney right now — and it sounds like he may be reevaluating their relationship at this point entirely. “Even though there was drama amongst the women, I decided to rely on my own intuitions and make up my mind for myself,” he shares. “Whether or not this was the right decision, I don’t know, it still remains to be seen.”
Cameron Diaz Saves Her Hair
In just one week, the actress took her hair from curly and crazy to straight and sleek. Do you love her latest hairstyle?
Cameron Diaz showed off her short bob cut styled in curls on January 15 at the 2012 Golden Globe Awards after party. In a HollywoodLife.com poll, 60% of readers thought the hairstyle was just not a good look on Cameron. Just one week later, she looks completely different at the Versace Haute Couture Spring/Summer 2012 presentation at Paris Fashion Week. Do you think Cameron looks much better with straight hair? Vote below!
Getting a new hair cut can be tricky. It takes time to figure out how to style it so that it looks best with your face shape and personal style. Cameron is definitely getting the hang of her new bob!
Madonna ‘W.E.’ Premiere: Is Her Dress Lovely Or Too Loud?
The star looked like she got into a fight with too much tulle before stepping out on the red carpet — what did you think of her dress last night?
Madonna loves to bring drama to the red carpet, and all eyes were definitely on her on Jan. 23 in NYC, where the star turned up for the premiere of the film she directed, W.E.. While the bodice of her embroidered velvet Marchesa gown was gorgeous, the tulle sleeves were way too overpowering — it looked more like a costume!
Madonna can pull of practically everything, so seeing the star in something so dramatic definitely isn’t surprising — and she also has the confidence to walk out in this look without it taking her over, so I commend her for that — any other star would’ve been lost within this dress! That being said, this still wasn’t my fave get-up on Madonna.
Russell Brand Already Other Women & He’s Trashing Katy Perry — New Report
Their divorce has gotten ugly –FAST! Not only has Russell started seeing other women, he’s already asked one to move in with him.
Katy Perry is dealing with another devastating blow in her divorce with Russell Brand. Us Weekly reports that Russell has been “seeing” other women, and he’s been “attacking” Katy. Find out what Russell has been doing to Katy to rub even more salt into her broken heart.
“Katy discovered through her friends,” a source tells the magazine. “One of the women told a friend of hers, and it got back to Katy.”
But to make matters even worse for Katy, 27, Russell hasn’t been completely trashing Katy’s name to anyone who will take the time to listen.
“He’s spoken terribly about Katy to them,” the source continues. “Russell has been attacking Katy via emails and texts. It’s gotten ugly. Katy’s concerned about him leaking stories for financial gain.”
You’ll never believe this … Russell actually wants a woman to move in with him into his new $1.5 million pad!
“Russell wants to explore a relationship,” the source adds. “He told her he wanted her to move in with him after the divorce is final.”